LordEverstill
06-25-2008, 06:17 AM
Got bored so I decided to do this!
* Yugi Moto once dueled someone so hard that his hand broke the speed of light, went back in time, and mind-crushed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
* Crop circles are Yugi Moto's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
* Yugi Moto is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Yugi Moto out. It failed miserably.
* Contrary to popular belief, Yugi Moto, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, tightness of the vocal cords, and the feeling of being repeatedly dueled through a car windshield.
* Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Yugi Moto has 72... and they're all poisonous.
* If you ask Yugi Moto what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he mind-crushes you in the face.
* Yugi Moto drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
* When Yugi Moto sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to duel. Yugi Moto has not had to pay taxes, ever.
* The quickest way to a man's heart is with Yugi Moto' voice.
* Yugi Moto invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
* CNN was originally created as the "Yugi Moto Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot dueling in real-time.
* Yugi Moto can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
* There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Yugi Moto allows to live.
* Yugi Moto once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
* What was going through the minds of all of Yugi Moto's victims before they died? His mind-crush.
* Yugi Moto is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
* Police label anyone attacking Yugi Moto as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
* Yugi Moto doesn't churn butter. He mind-crushes the cows and the butter comes straight out.
* Yugi Moto doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
* A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Yugi Moto and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
* Yugi Moto will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
* Someone once videotaped Yugi Moto getting pissed off. It was called Dan Green: Cartoon Voice Professional.
* If you spell Yugi Moto in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
* Yugi Moto originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a mind-crush. When asked bout this "glitch," Moto replied, "That's no glitch."
* Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Yugi Moto once and he will mind-crush you in the face.
* The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Yugi Moto played in second grade.
* Yugi Moto once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
* Yugi Moto once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Yugi Moto re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
* Yugi Moto has two speeds: Walk and Duel.
* Someone once tried to tell Yugi Moto that mind-crushes aren't the best way to hurt someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
* Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Yutatorship.
* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Yugi Moto once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
* Yugi Moto is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Yugi Moto.
* Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Yugi Moto's warm-up exercises.
* Yugi Moto is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will mind-crush-kick you in the face.
* In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Yugi Moto turned that wine into beer.
* Yugi Moto can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
* Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Yugi Moto.
* Yugi Moto discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Yugi Moto is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Yugi Moto mind-crush-dueled him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
* Yugi Moto doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
* The Yugi Moto military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Yugi Moto could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
* In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Yugi Moto could use to duel you, including the room itself.
* According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Yugi Moto walks.
* Yugi Moto does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
* Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Yugi gave them a mind-crush to the face.
* When Yugi Moto goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
* There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Yugi Moto has breathed on.
* Yugi Moto once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Yugi Moto won by 5.
* Yugi Moto was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of duel, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Yugi's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious mind-crush related injuries.
* Yugi Moto sheds his skin twice a year.
* When Yugi Moto calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
* Yugi Moto once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
* Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Yugi Moto likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
* There are no races, only countries of people Yugi Moto has mind-crushed to different shades of black and blue.
* When Yugi Moto was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he dueled the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
* Yugi Moto can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
* A Yugi Moto-delivered Mind-crush is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
* When Yugi Moto falls in water, Yugi Moto doesn't get wet. Water gets Yugi Moto.
* Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1YMMC (Yugi Moto Mind-crush)
* Yugi Moto’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* When Yugi Moto has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
* How much wood would a woodYugi Yugi if a woodYugi could Yugi Moto? ...All of it.
* Yugi Moto doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
* In honor of Yugi Moto, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Yugisized.
* Yugi Moto CAN believe it's not butter.
* If tapped, a Yugi Moto mind-crush could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
* Yugi Moto can divide by zero.
* The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Yugi Moto has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
* A picture is worth a thousand words. A Yugi Moto is worth 1 billion words.
* Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Yugi Moto mind-crush.
* Yugi Moto invented his own type of karate. It's called Yugi-Will-Duel.
* When an episode of Yu-gi-oh! was aired in France, the French surrendered to Yugi Moto just to be on the safe side.
* While urinating, Yugi Moto is easily capable of welding titanium.
* Yugi Moto once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
* When Yugi Moto talks, everybody listens. And dies.
* When Steven Seagal duels a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Yugi Moto duels a ninja, he uses every part.
* Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Yugi Moto calls this "a slow Tuesday."
* Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Yugi Moto to go around.
* Yugi Moto doesnt shave; he duels himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Yugi Moto is Yugi Moto.
* For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Yugi Moto, each testicle is larger than the other one.
* Yugi Moto always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
* When taking the SAT, write "Yugi Moto" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
* Yugi Moto invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
* When you're Yugi Moto, anything + anything is equal to 1. One mind-crush to the face.
* Yugi Moto has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
* On his birthday, Yugi Moto randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
* Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Yugi Moto.
* Yugi Moto doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Yugi Moto throws down!
* In the beginning there was nothing...then Yugi Moto Dueled that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
* Yugi Moto has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
* Yugi Moto grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
* Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Yugi Moto"
* Yugi Moto ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
* Yugi Moto and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
* If you Google search "Yugi Moto getting his ass kicked in a duel" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
* Yugi Moto can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
* Little known medical fact: Yugi Moto invented the Caesarean section when he dueled his way out of his monther's womb.
* Yugi Moto doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
* The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Yugi Moto. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the duel monster card.
* It takes Yugi Moto 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Yugi Moto will find you and duel you.
* Yugi Moto has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Yugi Moto Dueled one of the corners off.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Yugi Moto lives in Oklahoma.
* Yugi Moto doesn't believe in Germany.
* When Yugi Moto is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
* Yugi Moto once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
* James Cameron wanted Yugi Moto to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
* Yugi Moto can touch MC Hammer.
* Thousands of years ago Yugi Moto came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
* Yugi Moto played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
* It takes 14 puppeteers to make Yugi Moto smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
# Yugi Moto is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
# Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Yugi Moto pajamas.
# Yugi Moto once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
# Simply by pulling on both ends, Yugi Moto can stretch diamonds back into coal.
# When Yugi Moto does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
# Yugi Moto invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
# A high tide means Yugi Moto is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
# Yugi Moto keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with mind-crush to the face.
# There is in fact an “I” in Moto, but there is no “team”… not even close.
# Scotty in Star Trek often says “Ye cannae change the laws of physics.” This is untrue. Yugi Moto can change the laws of physics. With his deck.
# An anagram for Yu-gi-oh! is HYGUIO. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
# Yugi Moto doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
# Using his trademark mind-crush, Yugi Moto once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
# Yugi Moto mind-crushes don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
# Yugi Moto does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
# Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Yugi Moto because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Yugi Moto's autobiography.
# Yugi Moto can slam a revolving door.
# Yugi Moto is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Yugi Moto does not swim. This is because when Yugi Moto enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Yugi Moto simply walks across the pool floor.
# Yugi Moto built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
# The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Yugi Moto instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Yugi dueled Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
# Hellen Keller's favorite color is Yugi Moto.
# Yugi Moto eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to duel a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
# If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Yugi Moto would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
# Yugi Moto is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
# The crossing lights in Yugi Moto's home town say "Duel slowly" and "duel quickly". They each have a picture of Yugi Moto dueling or mind-crushing a pedestrian.
# Science Fact: Mind-crushes are comprised primarily of an element called Yugitanium.
# The Sherman tank was originaly called the Moto tank until Yugi Moto decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. The Army, for fear of Yugi Moto, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Yugi Moto.
# Yugi Moto proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
# Superman once watched an episode of Yu-gi-oh!. He then cried himself to sleep.
# Yugi Moto doesn't step on toes. Yugi Moto steps on necks.
# The movie "Yu-Gi-Oh!" was extremely hard to make because Yugi had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
# Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary.
# Yugi Moto does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
# There is no such thing as global warming. Yugi Moto was cold, so he turned the sun up.
# A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Yugi Moto, 3. Cancer
# It's widely believed that Jesus was Yugi Moto' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Yugi Moto' skin.
# Yugi Moto did in fact, build Rome in a day.
# Along with his black belt, Yugi Moto often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
# Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Yugi Moto to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Yugi Moto had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.
# Once you go Moto, you are physically unable to go back.
# Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Yugi Moto. But usually they grow up just to be mind-crushed by Yugi Moto.
# Yugi Moto once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
# The last thing you hear before Yugi Moto gives you a mind-crush? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
# Yugi Moto doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
# As a teen, Yugi Moto had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
* Yugi Moto once dueled someone so hard that his hand broke the speed of light, went back in time, and mind-crushed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
* Crop circles are Yugi Moto's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
* Yugi Moto is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Yugi Moto out. It failed miserably.
* Contrary to popular belief, Yugi Moto, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, tightness of the vocal cords, and the feeling of being repeatedly dueled through a car windshield.
* Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Yugi Moto has 72... and they're all poisonous.
* If you ask Yugi Moto what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he mind-crushes you in the face.
* Yugi Moto drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
* When Yugi Moto sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to duel. Yugi Moto has not had to pay taxes, ever.
* The quickest way to a man's heart is with Yugi Moto' voice.
* Yugi Moto invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
* CNN was originally created as the "Yugi Moto Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot dueling in real-time.
* Yugi Moto can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
* There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Yugi Moto allows to live.
* Yugi Moto once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
* What was going through the minds of all of Yugi Moto's victims before they died? His mind-crush.
* Yugi Moto is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
* Police label anyone attacking Yugi Moto as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
* Yugi Moto doesn't churn butter. He mind-crushes the cows and the butter comes straight out.
* Yugi Moto doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
* A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Yugi Moto and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
* Yugi Moto will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
* Someone once videotaped Yugi Moto getting pissed off. It was called Dan Green: Cartoon Voice Professional.
* If you spell Yugi Moto in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
* Yugi Moto originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a mind-crush. When asked bout this "glitch," Moto replied, "That's no glitch."
* Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Yugi Moto once and he will mind-crush you in the face.
* The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Yugi Moto played in second grade.
* Yugi Moto once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
* Yugi Moto once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Yugi Moto re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
* Yugi Moto has two speeds: Walk and Duel.
* Someone once tried to tell Yugi Moto that mind-crushes aren't the best way to hurt someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
* Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Yutatorship.
* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Yugi Moto once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
* Yugi Moto is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Yugi Moto.
* Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Yugi Moto's warm-up exercises.
* Yugi Moto is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will mind-crush-kick you in the face.
* In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Yugi Moto turned that wine into beer.
* Yugi Moto can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
* Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Yugi Moto.
* Yugi Moto discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Yugi Moto is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Yugi Moto mind-crush-dueled him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
* Yugi Moto doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
* The Yugi Moto military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Yugi Moto could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
* In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Yugi Moto could use to duel you, including the room itself.
* According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Yugi Moto walks.
* Yugi Moto does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
* Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Yugi gave them a mind-crush to the face.
* When Yugi Moto goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
* There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Yugi Moto has breathed on.
* Yugi Moto once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Yugi Moto won by 5.
* Yugi Moto was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of duel, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Yugi's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious mind-crush related injuries.
* Yugi Moto sheds his skin twice a year.
* When Yugi Moto calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
* Yugi Moto once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
* Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Yugi Moto likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
* There are no races, only countries of people Yugi Moto has mind-crushed to different shades of black and blue.
* When Yugi Moto was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he dueled the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
* Yugi Moto can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
* A Yugi Moto-delivered Mind-crush is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
* When Yugi Moto falls in water, Yugi Moto doesn't get wet. Water gets Yugi Moto.
* Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1YMMC (Yugi Moto Mind-crush)
* Yugi Moto’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* When Yugi Moto has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
* How much wood would a woodYugi Yugi if a woodYugi could Yugi Moto? ...All of it.
* Yugi Moto doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
* In honor of Yugi Moto, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Yugisized.
* Yugi Moto CAN believe it's not butter.
* If tapped, a Yugi Moto mind-crush could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
* Yugi Moto can divide by zero.
* The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Yugi Moto has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
* A picture is worth a thousand words. A Yugi Moto is worth 1 billion words.
* Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Yugi Moto mind-crush.
* Yugi Moto invented his own type of karate. It's called Yugi-Will-Duel.
* When an episode of Yu-gi-oh! was aired in France, the French surrendered to Yugi Moto just to be on the safe side.
* While urinating, Yugi Moto is easily capable of welding titanium.
* Yugi Moto once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
* When Yugi Moto talks, everybody listens. And dies.
* When Steven Seagal duels a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Yugi Moto duels a ninja, he uses every part.
* Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Yugi Moto calls this "a slow Tuesday."
* Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Yugi Moto to go around.
* Yugi Moto doesnt shave; he duels himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Yugi Moto is Yugi Moto.
* For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Yugi Moto, each testicle is larger than the other one.
* Yugi Moto always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
* When taking the SAT, write "Yugi Moto" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
* Yugi Moto invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
* When you're Yugi Moto, anything + anything is equal to 1. One mind-crush to the face.
* Yugi Moto has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
* On his birthday, Yugi Moto randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
* Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Yugi Moto.
* Yugi Moto doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Yugi Moto throws down!
* In the beginning there was nothing...then Yugi Moto Dueled that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
* Yugi Moto has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
* Yugi Moto grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
* Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Yugi Moto"
* Yugi Moto ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
* Yugi Moto and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
* If you Google search "Yugi Moto getting his ass kicked in a duel" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
* Yugi Moto can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
* Little known medical fact: Yugi Moto invented the Caesarean section when he dueled his way out of his monther's womb.
* Yugi Moto doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
* The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Yugi Moto. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the duel monster card.
* It takes Yugi Moto 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Yugi Moto will find you and duel you.
* Yugi Moto has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Yugi Moto Dueled one of the corners off.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Yugi Moto lives in Oklahoma.
* Yugi Moto doesn't believe in Germany.
* When Yugi Moto is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
* Yugi Moto once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
* James Cameron wanted Yugi Moto to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
* Yugi Moto can touch MC Hammer.
* Thousands of years ago Yugi Moto came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
* Yugi Moto played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
* It takes 14 puppeteers to make Yugi Moto smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
# Yugi Moto is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
# Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Yugi Moto pajamas.
# Yugi Moto once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
# Simply by pulling on both ends, Yugi Moto can stretch diamonds back into coal.
# When Yugi Moto does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
# Yugi Moto invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
# A high tide means Yugi Moto is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
# Yugi Moto keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with mind-crush to the face.
# There is in fact an “I” in Moto, but there is no “team”… not even close.
# Scotty in Star Trek often says “Ye cannae change the laws of physics.” This is untrue. Yugi Moto can change the laws of physics. With his deck.
# An anagram for Yu-gi-oh! is HYGUIO. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
# Yugi Moto doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
# Using his trademark mind-crush, Yugi Moto once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
# Yugi Moto mind-crushes don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
# Yugi Moto does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
# Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Yugi Moto because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Yugi Moto's autobiography.
# Yugi Moto can slam a revolving door.
# Yugi Moto is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Yugi Moto does not swim. This is because when Yugi Moto enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Yugi Moto simply walks across the pool floor.
# Yugi Moto built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
# The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Yugi Moto instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Yugi dueled Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
# Hellen Keller's favorite color is Yugi Moto.
# Yugi Moto eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to duel a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
# If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Yugi Moto would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
# Yugi Moto is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
# The crossing lights in Yugi Moto's home town say "Duel slowly" and "duel quickly". They each have a picture of Yugi Moto dueling or mind-crushing a pedestrian.
# Science Fact: Mind-crushes are comprised primarily of an element called Yugitanium.
# The Sherman tank was originaly called the Moto tank until Yugi Moto decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. The Army, for fear of Yugi Moto, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Yugi Moto.
# Yugi Moto proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
# Superman once watched an episode of Yu-gi-oh!. He then cried himself to sleep.
# Yugi Moto doesn't step on toes. Yugi Moto steps on necks.
# The movie "Yu-Gi-Oh!" was extremely hard to make because Yugi had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
# Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary.
# Yugi Moto does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
# There is no such thing as global warming. Yugi Moto was cold, so he turned the sun up.
# A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Yugi Moto, 3. Cancer
# It's widely believed that Jesus was Yugi Moto' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Yugi Moto' skin.
# Yugi Moto did in fact, build Rome in a day.
# Along with his black belt, Yugi Moto often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
# Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Yugi Moto to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Yugi Moto had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.
# Once you go Moto, you are physically unable to go back.
# Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Yugi Moto. But usually they grow up just to be mind-crushed by Yugi Moto.
# Yugi Moto once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
# The last thing you hear before Yugi Moto gives you a mind-crush? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
# Yugi Moto doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
# As a teen, Yugi Moto had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.