Is it wrong when you're in love?

[Roseleaf]

Okay, a long time ago I met the person who is my best friend today, Kayla. Then, I met her brother Mathew.

For quite a while, I sort of knew I had a crush on Matt. He was brave and he treated me like I was his age. His age at the time:12 my age:8

But after a while, I found I more then liked Matt. I loved him. And every time I stayed the night, Matt and I would snuggle on the couch or in his room. Matt never did much more then an innocent hand around my waist.

Now, im 13, and Matt will be 18 september 11. (yes, his bday is 9-11)
But I still love Matt. I cry about him a lot, and I'm just not the same person. I've told people before, but most call me jailbait or some other nasty stuff.

But the truth is I LOVE Matt. I would walk to the end of the Earth for Matt, and I would leave his life forever if it truely made him happy.

What should I do?:(

[HolyShadow]

Okay, a long time ago I met the person who is my best friend today, Kayla. Then, I met her brother Mathew.

For quite a while, I sort of knew I had a crush on Matt. He was brave and he treated me like I was his age. His age at the time:12 my age:8

But after a while, I found I more then liked Matt. I loved him. And every time I stayed the night, Matt and I would snuggle on the couch or in his room. Matt never did much more then an innocent hand around my waist.

Now, im 13, and Matt will be 18 september 11. (yes, his bday is 9-11)
But I still love Matt. I cry about him a lot, and I'm just not the same person. I've told people before, but most call me jailbait or some other nasty stuff.

But the truth is I LOVE Matt. I would walk to the end of the Earth for Matt, and I would leave his life forever if it truely made him happy.

What should I do?:(
Legally, you don't know what love is until you're 16 (In america).

Ignoring that, you have to let him choose and be responsible.

[MrsSallyBakura]

Also, legally, he is an adult. You just became a teenager.

There's nothing wrong with loving a guy who's older than you, but at this point, it's impractical to be dating him. He's probably heading off to college now and with guys that age... you don't know what they're thinking when they want to hook up with a young girl who can be easily manipulated into doing whatever he wants.

He also could be looking at you as a cute little girl who has a crush on him. He thinks it's sweet, but he's not interested in actually turning it into a romantic relationship, at least, not at this point.

So no, there's nothing wrong. Just don't expect a romantic relationship with him to go well at your ages. If he really loves you back, he will come back to you when you're both older. :)

[Roseleaf]

I've thought about the college thing, and thats why we broke up, is cuz I said I didnt want to ruin his life...

I had a lesson at church once that says God always uses pain to teach a lesson... but what if you already learned that lesson and it still hurts?

[TPishek]

I had a lesson at church once that says God always uses pain to teach a lesson... but what if you already learned that lesson and it still hurts?

The lesson does not come from the pain; it comes from the way we respond to the pain. By looking at our options, putting aside our own transient desires and fears, and choosing to do what's right, we grow as people and become more aware of who we really are and what we are capable of. The right choice is not necessarily, or even often, the easy and painless one. But we have to be able to face that pain, and move on with our lives in spite of it. That is what makes us stronger, better individuals.

[redpheonix]

mmmm i know it may not help any but if you love him...in the end if its meant to be it will be.........

[Ishikawa Oshro]

I've thought about the college thing, and thats why we broke up, is cuz I said I didnt want to ruin his life...

I had a lesson at church once that says God always uses pain to teach a lesson... but what if you already learned that lesson and it still hurts?

Pain usually teaches us a lesson through it. Wether it was to learn to leave things behind no matter how hard it was or wether it was learning to push past a certain place youve never been ablke to get to before.

The idea od pain is the fact that it usually draws you closer to GOD. Most people clutter their lives with other things like love, fun, or fantasy lives on the net. They try to make themselves feel good no matter what it takes to attain that goal that theres nothing left for GOD except on sunday and possibly sunday night if hes lucky. The pain draws you closer to GOD and usually allows you to learn to rely more on him and less on the world.

Theres many lessons to be learned from pain and suffering. Though I personally wouldent want to learn lessons that way but it happens because of my choices I make.

[Roseleaf]

True. XD But just to let you know, I do devote my life to God, and Wednesday is the highlight of my week because of youth group

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

You're young, you fall in "love" with this guy. Then the two of you break up.
You learn from the mistakes of the first relationship and move on to find someone, with whom, you have a better conection.

not ALL couples are compatible. What seems like a good idea at first could be a horrible mistake. The pain will eventualy go away.

[Aninamar]

I guess you should just get over it! <guitar> Get over it!

I'm not an expert on those things... but I know one thing: the great philosopher Jagger once said, you can't always get what you want. But, sometimes, if you try hard enough, you might get just what you need.
It just can't work, I guess. From his perspective, you might be just having a crush of non-mind variety and there are a lot of ways he might respond to that. Some of those you wish he would never do.

[xsinvurt]

I went though something Similar to this but in my case I would be this Matt Guy I dated this Younger Girl and Totally Fell for her and she Loved me back I honestly Cared for her and still do to be honest but to cut a long story short she had to move to the other side of the world We both lived in Wales in the U.K and she moved to Canada needless to say it didn't work but in a way it was for the best its hard to let someone go who you care about but if it was not for that heart arc I would not be the man I am today. you must understand if its meant to be it will be.

[maisetofan]

the fact remains, you cannot help who you fall for :)
if you really love him, i suggest you talk to someone about it, like a family member or counsellor and then see how matt himself feels, i mean in three years time or so it will be perfectly fine

also you never know unless you try :D
i am a firm believer in confronting your feelings and telling someone you like them, even if the outcome is not in your favor, you will have told him and be able to relax and breath again, i mean i have been there many a time and although it has not always worked its so much better looking back

[JSwiggz]

Falling in love is like smoking good weed, it feels great at first, but the come down period sucks. Trust me though, you'll move on.

[Spoofs3]

Meh, It'll pass...
Sorta
And even if it doesn't
Things CAN happen later in life
Don't expect everything to poof into existence at your age.
I don't as hell expect my life to stay the same and sure as hell won't let it!
You need to puish for the things you want most of the time, After youth

[XxEnslavedNekoxX]

Love is a strange and often fickle thing. Everyone is right in saying that you are still young. However, that doesn't mean that your love is wrong either.

If you haven't asked him how he feels yet, then you should. If you two do decide to start dating, I don't think it would really be a bad thing. Though you will still have to keep your witts about you. If he does love you, then he can wait until you are of legal age before you two go any further than an innocent hug and kiss.

I have a friend for example who is of legal age. His girlfriend however, is not. That doesn't stop the two of them from staying together as a couple yet because of her young age, they have not gone past kissing and hugging. I think if he does the same, you two will be just fine. The age difference isn't really that big.

Like I said above, keep your witts about you. Alot of times, men, and even women that age will go after younger, more niave people. But you'll know if that's what he's really after if he tries advancing and continues trying after you've told him no. If this happens, leave and don't look back.

[Kochiha]

I don't believe that anybody has the right to tell you who to love, what age you have to be before you can "feel" love, or anything else like that. You love this guy. You want to be with him. By all means, do everything you can to be with him. My girlfriend lives in Ohio, I live a little bit west of Chicago, we've seen each other in person once, and that hasn't stopped us. To quote Hideki Motosuwa: "You can't help it when you fall in love. That's just love, you know?" But if it's true love, it isn't easy--not for you, who feels the pain and guilt of being what society tells you is "too young", or for the one that you love who might not have things as easy because of you. Going back to Motosuwa: "Whatever the lovers choose to do, they can't half-ass it. They've got to do it right. And they have to do what truly makes their hearts happy, as they'll live with the choice for the rest of their lives."

Doing something, like deciding that you want to be with somebody, is an accomplishment. The two necessary items are sincerity and action, and this is sincerity with respect for yourself. Wanting to accomplish something is a promise to yourself, and the one who keeps or breaks that promise is you. Nobody can be troubled with holding you to a promise that you've made to yourself. You have to choose what you believe is the best course of action, and you have to be absolutely certain of that. Your course of action may cause harm to others, but you want it. That's all that matters. Understanding the pain and weight of what you're giving up and remaining willing--THAT is what being prepared is.

I won't tell you the best course of action, but I will tell you that you are the only one who can decide that. Not the law, not society, not your family, you.

[loveistears]

I think that as long as you love him and he loves you it's not a big deal. But listen to your heart. It really helps. If you need someone to talk about this pm me. I'll help ya

[maisetofan]

lol i say go for it, IF he likes you back because take it from me, who has approached the male she has had feelings for in the past many a time and told them she likes them for whatever reason, that its very useful to make sure that you know they are in to you first
Rejection is one of the cruelest emotions and the most common fear in humans, not the largest but the most common and it hurts like hell.

As far as the age thing goes, if you wait a couple of years it will be considered fine, My cousin had a baby to her boyfriend of 23 when she was 15 years old, they were together for four years on and off after that but were both in love more when she was younger so it really is not about age even though society may make it seen perverted, its not. I do not condone sex at 15 regardless of what gender you are im saying that when it comes to love, you cannot predict who you will fall head over heels for, you can also not help it honestly you cant

I was great friends with a guy of 16 when i was 21 this was back in 2006 and his sister and me were mates first but i got along so well with her brother we became like really good friends, it wasnt until a year later when he was 17 that we became closer as friends and he told me he liked me when we all went on holiday together.
I meediatlely thought he was the one, since we got along so well, it was amazing, i thought he was the guy for me, the one i had prayed for but i was 22 and he was 17 and in one part of the country in the big city we could be holding hands, and kissing cuz thats all we did, but the minute we went back down south to our town, he acted as though nothing had even happened and we were just "Friends" after a week of what i thought was two of us telling each other our true feelings and going out i mean we would stay up all night at chat, just the two of us and then when reality hit, it came down to what his family (his sister didn't know and still doesn't) and society would think of a 17 year old school leaver going with a 22 year old.

We got into a big fight and it ruined our friendship and now we do not talk
i have made several attempts to get back to being friends since i have lost all those feelings i once had for him BUT he could not do it, so we talk casually now and thats it

so Make sure you wait and see if he likes you too or you will wreck what sounds like a great friendship :D

hope that helped

[Blaydrix]

To quote the song,
Love hurts, love scars,
Love wounds, and marks,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain.

I understand your situation. I was in love once, not too long ago actually. She was a really good friend of mine, someone I saw practically daily, part of a close circle of friends, we hung out a lot. I had liked her since seventh grade, and I was starting to realize my feelings were getting deeper. But, alas, it was not meant to be. She wanted to be with one of my best friends (who wasn't interested), and I already knew how she reacted when she found out someone had feelings for her, twice actually. It wasn't encouraging, to say the least. Plus, I already knew her opinion on me. I am the laziest person in the world, and my apathy sickens her. (I'm not really apathetic... I'm just terrible at outwardly sharing my emotions)

As I spiraled deeper and deeper into depression, one day I decided enough was enough. No longer would my happiness be decided by someone else. It's foolish to be in love with someone you can't be with, so I abolished my love. It sounds crazy, I know, but it worked, because now I can hang out with her without feeling any awkward tension.

This may be a roundabout way of saying "get over it," but... that's what I did, and I haven't regretted it since.
If he truly loves you, ignore this and follow the advice of some of the people above. They're nice people, I'd trust their judgment. But if it turns out any other way, I wish the best for you, because regardless of whether I know the person or not, I hate seeing people depressed.

[caps]

i have no suggestions. love can be....suckish. that is the understatement of a century. but it happens...and it is sad when it happens...that you can get over him and fall in love with someone else. does he love you back?

[Xanadu]

Falling in love is like smoking good weed, it feels great at first, but the come down period sucks. Trust me though, you'll move on.

yeah its all omg I am a genius and you blast Dancing Queen at 3 am writing what you think is genius work and when you wake up in a horrid daze for school your surrounded in paper covered with lyrics
and while at school you can't stop laughing at the Stephen King novel Shawshank Redemption...then you come down, and forget what happened and move on lol

love is shitty, i never enjoyed it myself-but that's because I am always the best friend and that is crappy!

[HolyShadow]

yeah its all omg I am a genius and you blast Dancing Queen at 3 am writing what you think is genius work and when you wake up in a horrid daze for school your surrounded in paper covered with lyrics
and while at school you can't stop laughing at the Stephen King novel Shawshank Redemption...then you come down, and forget what happened and move on lol

love is shitty, i never enjoyed it myself-but that's because I am always the best friend and that is crappy!
I'll make out with you, big guy.

...I mean.

This isn't a test of character. Definitely not. Did I mention I'm not testing whether you're as lustful as some people think gays and bisexuals are? that's kinda important.

_____________________________

Personally, I'm in love with the most wonderful person in the world. I hope I end up with her. She forgives my faults.

[Xanadu]

I only added that last part to stay on topic

[EdBat]

How do you know you're in love? You are thirteen. You're just becoming a teenager, and this is the first boy you've liked. You'll change a lot over the next few years... I mean, I'm almost 20 and I keep changing.

[Velocity]

How do you know you're in love? You are thirteen. You're just becoming a teenager, and this is the first boy you've liked. You'll change a lot over the next few years... I mean, I'm almost 20 and I keep changing.
I can't believe it's taken this long for somebody to say exactly this.

Kid, you're 13 now. You have yet to realize actual LOVE. At this point in life, "love" to you is more like an "intense like." By all means, continue to be friendly with the guy, but don't pine after him. He's 18, he'll be more into girls his own age especially because of the VAST maturity difference (well... not mental/emotional, that doesn't really change much; mainly it's the physical maturity and PERCEIVED mental/emotional maturity).

Let yourself grow up, be friends and have "relationships" with guys your own age, and if what you feel as "love" between you and this guy is meant to be, it will work itself out in due course.

[Fat1Fared]

I can't believe it's taken this long for somebody to say exactly this.

Kid, you're 13 now. You have yet to realize actual LOVE. At this point in life, "love" to you is more like an "intense like." By all means, continue to be friendly with the guy, but don't pine after him. He's 18, he'll be more into girls his own age especially because of the VAST maturity difference (well... not mental/emotional, that doesn't really change much; mainly it's the physical maturity and PERCEIVED mental/emotional maturity).

Let yourself grow up, be friends and have "relationships" with guys your own age, and if what you feel as "love" between you and this guy is meant to be, it will work itself out in due course.

I think it because of fear, poeple don't like to admit, love is lot more hard to understand than poeple like to admit and lot of time it isn't 100% pure or good

[Alvin &the Chipmunk]

i think you should try to think about the great things YOU have in life any reletives or freinds, just be thankfull for what you have got and try to keep what you want behind you. thats what i do and it allways works.

[Bluetune]

This depends .

What you find in one person that genuinely fascinates you is often not what you get from others. AT least in my experience.

There are questions you should ask yourself when you are in the state of mind of loving someone.

Is my reaction towards this person purely based on my emotions or is there a logical reason for it?

What Fascinates me?

What am I attracted to?

Is this person funny?

IS this person charming?

Does this person have anything else going for them besides their looks?

Is there someone else like this?

balance is the key

Ask yourself ambiguous question about life.

What is the difference between hope and expectations?

What is the difference between submission and surrender?

What is the difference between being attracted to someone and being truly fascinated by that person?

Is there such thing as true love, or does love just happen to come true?

but I'm just blathering on you know... I don't have any real answers. When it comes to the chemical reaction we get called "love" I can only answer my own questions.

[JesusRocks]

I can't believe it's taken this long for somebody to say exactly this.

Kid, you're 13 now. You have yet to realize actual LOVE. At this point in life, "love" to you is more like an "intense like." By all means, continue to be friendly with the guy, but don't pine after him. He's 18, he'll be more into girls his own age especially because of the VAST maturity difference (well... not mental/emotional, that doesn't really change much; mainly it's the physical maturity and PERCEIVED mental/emotional maturity).

Let yourself grow up, be friends and have "relationships" with guys your own age, and if what you feel as "love" between you and this guy is meant to be, it will work itself out in due course.

This.

BUT: This kind of "advice" can be very patronising and insulting. It's ragging on your feelings by telling you that you've identified them wrongly. You know how you feel about this person, and for a person your age, it's annoying to be told "you're wrong"... because you think that people don't understand your particular feelings, you are the exception to the rule etc... etc...

Heh, I remember, when I was about your age, I thought I fell in love with this girl, and my mate, who was (at the time) wiser than I, told me that I couldn't be in love, and that I was just really, intensely liking this girl... This angered me. "What does he know?" I thought...

Turned out he was right. The advice might be patronising and infuriating at the time... but it's true. You gotta take it as it comes, from those who have been through it, and been told exactly the same. Concentrate on guys of your own age, and let him go for girls of his own age. Be friends, and when the whole age difference thing doesn't carry horrific legal complications, then there might be a chance of it... but chances are, you'll find someone else and so would he.

I met my girlfriend when I was 16, I fell in love with her a little while into our relationship, but it wasn't until I was 17 that I found out what love really is - it was a gradual learning process. If, after I fell in love with her, our relationship did not withstand our first dozen arguments, then I could probably say that I didn't really love her. We had almost an entire year where a lot of what we did was argue with each other. Now I'm 21, and we're still together, and we are more in love now than we ever were... and I'd imagine that this will continue to increase as the years go by...

My advice: Take the advice of the people who have been through it. Weigh up both the good stories, and the bad.

[Underling]

NOBODY LOVES ME

[JesusRocks]

NOBODY LOVES ME

YOU JUST WALK OUT OF MY LIFE AND THEN EXPECT ME TO WAIT FOR YOU?

I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU FOREVER MY DARLING

I'M SORRY
I'VE MOVED ON

[Cocyta]

NOBODY LOVES ME

I didn't know you wanted to be loved.

[Aninamar]

I once loved this girl. But it was futile.

So I decided to adopt the philosophy of:

SCREW EVERYTHING!
BECOME A NINJA!!!

It works.

[Cocyta]

yay ninjas!

[Aninamar]

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[Bluetune]

http://images0.cafepress.com/product/414809420v4_350x350_Front_Color-Black.jpg

wait, what? :confused:

[Seagull Dien]

lols yugioh GX the abridged, and i thought this was a serious discution

[Bluetune]

lols yugioh GX the abridged, and i thought this was a serious discution

It was until we started changing the topic to ninjas and ancient gear golems.

Okay I'll be serious now... you spelled "discussion" wrong

[Aninamar]

lols yugioh GX the abridged, and i thought this was a serious discution

Who here is quoting YGOGX:TAS? Because that's certainly not me. I don't find anything else than YGOTAS funny when it comes to Abridged Series.

[JesusRocks]

Well, thanks Underling, you touched this thread and it turned to crap.

Go wash your hands before dinner, boy >:V

10CK3D