Beyblade Abridged

[enaeem]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlH3B_AjMrM&feature=plcp
This is a link to my beyblade Metal Masters Abridged episodes
I know I am crap shit compared to LK........ like come on he is like the godfather of all abridged series, so how could I compete. So I made this just for laughs Please check it out and please give me suggestions on how to make it better::3:

[SupermewX300]

Meh. Too much silence, flat voices, bad editing. Put more care into it and it could be good, but in its current state it really isn't. Plus, at times it's hard to tell who's meant to be talking, and I'm pretty sure the main character had a major voice change for a couple of seconds near the end.

[enaeem]

Thanks for your review, I greatly appreciate it.

[enaeem]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BneBHDB15ng&feature=plcp
This is the link to Episode 2 please see if this is better

[toboexd]

Is it worth watching?

[enaeem]

I am making episode 3 and I am really working hard on it I believe it will be worth watching

[SupermewX300]

Again, it's pretty much watchable, but it doesn't feel like it's had proper care put into it. Again, way too much silence, and the one sound effect you do use is too loud and quite jarring. The voices are again flat, and they aren't really distinctive like they should be in a comedy series. Quite a few times the end of a sentence is clipped off and the editing in general isn't that good. But probably most important is that you don't really create much humour. Sure, the few jokes that were in there (but fell flat) could be pretty good if you executed them better, but that's it, just a few. This is meant to be a comedy fandub, so you kinda need to create comedy. The series has pretty good potetial, and I'll keep watching in case it pays off, so I really hope you can use my criticism to your advantage.

[enaeem]

Thanks supermew I think I will work hard upon the aspects that you have underlined for me.