I too often lie awake at night wondering how to best regulate corporate consumption of energy. I have come up with a few ideas that are patent pending (so don't steal them!)
1. Install giant hamster wheels near all employee workstations. The wheels will be connected to turbines which will provide power to the building.
2. Covertly connect extension cables to nearby businesses. Power your company on the competition's dime!
3. Replace your workforce with electric eels.
4. Buy everyone on Earth a Prius.
5. Rub balloons on your head while shuffling across a shag carpet.
Hopefully these energy saving tips will help businesses everywhere slightly slow down their suicidally reckless approach to total global melt down.
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