This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout 'Save us!'... and Gon's Balls will whisper 'First... comes... rock!' Hah! Made you stare at Naruto's Marshmallow! Pushing the logo off-center to drive TheOcean insane.  
 
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  #31  
Old 08-08-2013
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>Simon: Search the SNOODY BUTLER
>Fiona: Search for something to treat your DRUNKENNESS while fighting the MONSTER
  #32  
Old 08-08-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyskye View Post
>Simon: Search the SNOODY BUTLER

You (SIMON) search the SNOODY BUTLER and he gives you a needle with some liquid in it. Perhaps you should INQUIRE about this needle?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyskye View Post
>Fiona: Search for something to treat your DRUNKENNESS while fighting the MONSTER


You (FIONA) find a GLASS OF WATER and DRINK IT GREEDILY, thereby curing your DRUNKENNESS STATUS EFFECT!

Monster attacks for 10 damage each!

Monster HP: 120 out of 120
Simon HP: 62/90
Fiona HP: 49/82

What will you do?
  #33  
Old 08-08-2013
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>Mrs. Carmen Oatmeal, or Mrs. Oatmeal for short.
Last edited by GcarOatmealRaisinCookies; 08-08-2013 at 09:16 PM.
  #34  
Old 08-08-2013
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>Simon: Inquire as to what is in the needle
>Fiona: Defend yourself as well as Simon
  #35  
Old 08-08-2013
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>Fiona: Aggreive the monster
  #36  
Old 08-08-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyskye View Post
>Simon: Inquire as to what is in the needle
You (SIMON) INTERROGATE the BUTLER with one of your TWIN PISTOLS. He wets himself a little.

SNOODY WET BUTLER: It's insulin!
You think about this for a moment. Why would a SNOODY WET BUTLER need INSULIN? And Hell, why would a dinosaur thing need a BUTLER?

Fiona DEFENDS you both.

MONSTER EATS A PARTY GUEST and gains 14 HP, and then ATTACKS for 5 DAMAGE EACH
Monster HP: 120 out of 120
Simon HP: 58/90
Fiona HP: 44/82

What will you do?
  #37  
Old 08-08-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Syth View Post
>Fiona: Aggreive the monster
FIONA: LET'S DO THIS!
FIONA ATTACKS THE MONSTER FOR 5 DAMAGE!

Monster HP: 115 out of 120
Simon HP: 58/90
Fiona HP: 44/82

What will you do?
Last edited by That Damn Bat; 08-08-2013 at 10:36 PM.
  #38  
Old 08-08-2013
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>Simon: Inject monster with insulin
  #39  
Old 08-08-2013
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>Fiona: attempt to decapitate the monster
  #40  
Old 08-08-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zairak View Post
>Simon: Inject monster with insulin
You (Simon) contemplate injecting the MONSTER with INSULIN, to cause an insulin overdose? You look at the NEEDLE. It is not nearly big enough for an overdose! You'll have to find some other way to weaken the monster.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyskye
>Fiona: attempt to decapitate the monster
This is incredibly stupid, but because you are batshit insane you (FIONA) do it anyway. The monster knocks you over, making you lose 15 HP


The MONSTER eats another party guest, regaining 14 HP!
Monster HP: 120/120
Simon HP: 58/90
Fiona HP: 39/82

SIMON, your CHARGE is losing HP fast! Perhaps you should try EXAMINING the ROOM.

What will you do?
Last edited by That Damn Bat; 08-08-2013 at 10:55 PM.
  #41  
Old 08-09-2013
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>Simon: Protect FIONA
>Fiona: EXAMINE ROOM
  #42  
Old 08-09-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyskye View Post
>Simon: Protect FIONA
You (SIMON) Defend FIONA from the MONSTER'S ATTACK, taking 10 damage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyskye View Post
>Fiona: EXAMINE ROOM
You (FIONA) EXAMINE THE ROOM. To the EAST there is a WALL with beautiful tapestries. To the WEST there are SWEET, SWEET, SUGARY REFRESHMENTS. To the SOUTH there is a LOCKED DOOR, and PANICKING PARTY GUESTS trying to get out.

Monster HP: 120/120
Simon HP: 48/90
Fiona HP: 39/82


What will you do?
  #43  
Old 08-10-2013
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>Simon: Go to WEST, get SWEET, SWEET, SUGARY REFRESHMENTS, chuck them MONSTER'S MOUTH-WARD.
  #44  
Old 08-10-2013
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>Fiona: Defend yourself
  #45  
Old 08-11-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zairak View Post
>Simon: Go to WEST, get SWEET, SWEET, SUGARY REFRESHMENTS, chuck them MONSTER'S MOUTH-WARD.
You (SIMON) load your gun with SWEET SUGARY REFRESHMENTS and LAUNCH them at the MONSTERS MOUTH HOLE!

MONSTER GOES INTO DIABETIC SHOCK
His defense is lowered.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyskye View Post
>Fiona: Defend yourself
You (FIONA) do a DEFENSIVE MANEUVER, using the TWIN DAGGERS as a SHIELD by crossing them in front of you.

MONSTER ATTACKS FIONA FOR 2 HP

Monster HP: 120/120 (Status Ailment: DIABETIC SHOCK)
Simon HP: 48/90
Fiona HP: 37/82

What will you do?
  #46  
Old 08-11-2013
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>Simon: Attack MONSTER while it is weakened by the DIABETIC SHOCK
>Fiona: Attack MONSTER while it is weakened by the DIABETIC SHOCK
  #47  
Old 08-12-2013
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>I'm Back, long weekend.
  #48  
Old 08-12-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyskye View Post
>Simon: Attack MONSTER while it is weakened by the DIABETIC SHOCK
>Fiona: Attack MONSTER while it is weakened by the DIABETIC SHOCK
You (SIMON) Attack the MONSTER for 21 DAMAGE

You (FIONA) Attack the MONSTER FOR 19 damage

Monster HP: 80/120 (Status Ailment: DIABETIC SHOCK)
Simon HP: 48/90
Fiona HP: 37/82

SNOODY BUTLER is SNEAKING AROUND!

What will you do?
  #49  
Old 08-12-2013
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>Simon: Attack the Monster

>Fiona: Shoves cake down the monster's throat, trying to increase and keep the monster in Diabetic Shock.
  #50  
Old 08-13-2013
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>Fiona: Tackle the SNOODY BUTLER to stop his SNEAKING AROUND.
  #51  
Old 08-13-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gcar90 View Post
>Simon: Attack the Monster
You (SIMON) fire from your TWIN PISTOLS at the MONSTER. The monster is interrupted from EATING the PARTY GUEST, and takes 10 damage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gcar90 View Post
>Fiona: Shoves cake down the monster's throat, trying to increase and keep the monster in Diabetic Shock.
You (FIONA) shove chocolate cake in the MONSTER's stupid face. You swear you hear him mumble CHOOOOOOOOOOCLAAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEE

Monster HP: 70/120 (Status Ailment: DIABETIC SHOCK)
Simon HP: 48/90
Fiona HP: 37/82
  #52  
Old 08-13-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zairak View Post
>Fiona: Tackle the SNOODY BUTLER to stop his SNEAKING AROUND.
You (FIONA) get all Dark Knight Batman on the SNOODY BUTLER
FIONA: WHEREEEEEEEEEEEE ISSSS ITTTT (growled)
SNOODY BUTLER : What?
FIONA: WHEREEEEEEEEEEEE ISSSS ITTTT (growled)
SNOODY BUTLER : What?
FIONA: WHEREEEEEEEEEEEE ISSSS ITTTT (growled)
SNOODY BUTLER : What?
FIONA: WHEREEEEEEEEEEEE ISSSS ITTTT (growled)
SNOODY BUTLER : What?
This goes on for 10 minutes until SIMON tells you to shut the hell up.

What do you do?
  #53  
Old 08-13-2013
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>Simon: attack the MONSTER
  #54  
Old 08-14-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyskye View Post
>Simon: attack the MONSTER
You (SIMON) get an incredible power boost by YELLING AT FIONA!
SIMON ATTACKS MONSTER FOR A WHOPPING 25 DAMAGE!!

SNOODY BULTER TRIES TO PUSH FIONA OFF BUT HE CAN'T!!

MONSTER ATTACKS FIONA FOR 2 HP!!

Monster HP: 45/120 (Status Ailment: DIABETIC SHOCK)
Simon HP: 48/90
Fiona HP: 35/82

What do you do?
  #55  
Old 08-15-2013
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<Simon: Attack the monster, while yelling at Fiona to be more useful.
<Fiona: Uses the butler to beat the monster over the head.
  #56  
Old 08-16-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gcar90 View Post
<Simon: Attack the monster, while yelling at Fiona to be more useful.
You (SIMON) ATTACK THE MONSTER FOR 30 DAMAGE and YELL AT FIONIA to stop FARTING AROUND AND HELP

Monster HP: 15/120 (Status Ailment: DIABETIC SHOCK)
Simon HP: 48/90
Fiona HP: 35/82


Quote:
Originally Posted by gcar90 View Post
<Fiona: Uses the butler to beat the monster over the head.
You (FIONA) Throw the SNOODY BUTLER at the MONSTER WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!
MONSTER TAKES 20 DAMAGE!!

Monster HP: -5/120 (Status Ailment: DEATH)
Simon HP: 48/90
Fiona HP: 35/82


The MONSTER COLLAPSES
You each level up and your wounds are healed!

You obtain a MONSTER TOOTH but that's it, the rest of the body goes to waste. You are a little disappointed. Monster guts would make a good meal.

SIMON +5 HP
FIONA +7 HP
Simon HP: 95/95
Fiona HP: 89/89
The rest of your stats are hidden!

__________________________

You (SIMON) and FIONA are now outside, standing on the cliff above the mansion. You watch as the SURVIVORS reunite with their loving families.
YOU (SIMON) take this moment to reminisce on your ~mysterious pasts~

You apprenticed under Fiona's father, BARON VON OATMEAL, the infamous Noble and Monster Hunter. Monster Hunting was considered a career choice for thugs and brutes until BARON VON OATMEAL made it cool. He is quite a celebrity, and you hope to reach his level of COOLNESS. FIONA is 17 years old, and she is now your apprentice, because BARON VON OATMEAL is on... business. Yeah, business is what you tell Fiona.

You (FIONA) got to chose the SUPER COOL Monster Hunter name "Twister" on your 15th birthday. That's when you began your Monster Hunter training with this scub SIMON. He's totally a loser, but he kind of grows on you after a while. You carry your dad's TWIN DAGGERS with you at all times because he is just. so. cool.

You (SIMON) Begin to make camp, while FIONA builds a fire.
SIMON: "Fiona, why don't you make us something to eat?"
FIONA makes a face at you.
FIONA "I hate cooking."
SIMON: What are you talking about? You love cook-
You begin to say, before you start flashing back on all the times that FIONA has said she hated cooking. Once in a soup kitchen, about a million times while camping and once in a ... maid suit? No, that's not right. You think about how creepy those connotations are when you're snapped out of it by a noise in the forest.

WHAT WILL YOU DO?
  #57  
Old 08-16-2013
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>Fiona: Investigate noise
>Simon: Begin to cook something
  #58  
Old 08-16-2013
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[QUOTE=Mistyskye;1663505]>Fiona: Investigate noise

You (FIONA) go to investigate the noise in the forest. It appears to be a rabbit sized creature with 3 eyes and antlers, when the COMMUNICATION DEVICE in your pocket goes off and scares the creature away. It is in mid jump, when Simon points his gun behind him without even looking and shoots it. Damn, that's just about the coolest thing you've seen Simon do, EVER.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistyskye View Post
>Simon: Begin to cook something
You (SIMON) accept the creature gleefully and begin prepping it for the fire when you see that your COUSIN in on the other line. He's a monster biologist, and also acts as your imformant as to where the latest and greatest hunts are going on, even though he abhors the killing and would rather study them. Hey, we all gotta get money somehow!
You just can't seem to remember his name, even though you talk to him once a day.

What is this Nerdly Fellow's name?
  #59  
Old 08-17-2013
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>John Egbert
  #60  
Old 08-18-2013
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Quote:
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>John Egbert
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