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#151
11-16-2011
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I stop because I respect dark, not because I lost to you, Allison.
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#152
11-16-2011
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-I don't need to 'serve' (such a wonderful and noble word for a pen pusher to use) I have dealt with enough of your kind during my previous work, which actually does 'help' and get involved in these issues and I have found your kinds idea of 'dealing with' is normally to find a problem and make worse for everyone involved because too self-righteous to ever actually look at these situations and properly get involved. The best bit is, you have never experienced anything yourself, instead you live in bubble looking out and that is why so easy for you to judge others, because never dared to make a mistake yourself. As shown by the line you show holy; 'live off parents' haha, I may not agree much of what holy says in life, but this coming from the girl whose parents brought her a horse and raised her in that massive mansion she likes to show off, yer we're the spoilt trust fund babies. haha just laughable. It is a sad world because people like you make it so, not because people make mistakes; your like the Churches in Africa, telling people that condoms cause Aids thereby worsening the problem and ruining more lives. Many actually agree with the church (me included) that in Africa less sex will be a good thing, but that doesn't justify punishing those disagree and there is the fundamental problem with bureaucrats like you. Mistakes can be overcome, but people like you won't ever do that because you like to punish rather than help and judge rather than dirty your precious little hands by actually getting involved in the dirty stuff like telling a man he cannot take his domestic violence case further without a lawyer he cannot afford because none of the aid services, provide help to males in this area and if does devoice his wife, likely to lose his children. You want horror stories, I have millions of them and normally people like you are involved making it worse. I don't care if deleted and I am banned and this achieved nothing, because before I just thought you were an annoying, spoilt, naive little princess; now realise you are actually a bureaucrat and all makes sense. Last edited by Fat1Fared; 11-16-2011 at 10:54 PM.
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#153
11-16-2011
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#154
11-16-2011
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Fared... I think I love you for that...
... *looks at the thread* Ok, let me rephrase that.
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#155
11-17-2011
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Although I actually agree with your views on sex, all that you've ended up saying is that nobody knows what they're talking about because they don't serve, and that only your knowledge of people with bad experiences in the matter are allowed to be used for the argument. The fact is that no matter what the rule or trend is, there are always going to be exceptions. So when you've got a planet with a population of almost 7 billion people there are going to be a lot of exceptions. So if the trend is that people become sexually active out of wedlock and it ruins their life, then there are going to be cases where people make it work. I even have the example of my cousin who did this, but she was a loser anyway and doesn't seem to try and want to get herself out of the problem she's in. Even then her life is just the consequences of my uncle, who is a massive loser that ruined his life and through his actions and the environment he brought his kids up in, theirs too.
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#156
11-17-2011
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Thank you Jotenks for saying what I've been trying to type.
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#157
11-17-2011
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=Now onto your thing, I feel the need to only edit one line...this is not because I agree or disagree with all your other points, but because those others are ether opinions or own life stories. -So the reason I change this line is because if you look at the number having sex outside marriage and the number whom consider its results counterproductive to their lives; studies would suggest, most are happy with the results in the western world; whatever they be. I say this for two reasons:- 1=I just want to state this fact, as many people on here, seem to have the misconception that sex generally ends badly...it really doesn't, as a general rule of thumb, the 'horror' stories are the exceptions. I don't blame people believing otherwise as just a quick scan online right now, showed how the mass media, despite another misconception is awash with these iffy stories and greyed out wives-tails about the evils of sex. I think the most telling one, was a study by the Daily Mail, which used such idols as Beckman and Micheal Douglas to prove how great waiting for marriage is...glosing over their affairs and the mishaps of their children like never occurred. 2=I say this, because they is a slightly jarring theme throughout this thread that to raise a family outside of one every limited view of it, is a bad thing and it members will always be unhappy outside it...happy inside it. -I say this because my life was almost ruined by the scared nuclur family cell and it wasn't until my parents devoiced, that it turned around, so I have a real prejudice against this global loving of this idea of the family. On the other hand, I know of a single mother of two, whom struggles as a hairdresser to raise her very healthy and happy children, but still claims to be very happy in her life. Now I am sure many will just claim she is lying about happiness without the Church/church approved life, but to me, it is still very condescending to her and the many other hard working, but happy single parents out there, to pass off there lives in such a manner. =One thing I have noticed is success in ones life, normally revolves around two things: 1-the way the person reacts to the world 2-the way the earth reacts back. -Regardless of whatever choice is made (excluding a few obvious exceptions) often ones happiness if we are all honest, is not decided by them living in some perfect, pre-decided, socially accepted or rejected lifestyle, but instead by them finding a solid balance between the two. Take your cos, you blame her and her uncle for her life and quite harshly done too. Now I do not know her or how happy/unhappy she is, so cannot comment, but presuming she is unhappy, maybe the reason your cos doesn't wish to get out of her life is not because she doesn't want too, but because she doesn't see a way out as all her life she has been called a loser...I know from experience that being called a loser and a failure by everyone around you, from your teachers/social peers to your own family can have quite a telling impact upon how you preview yourself. Maybe, she has been called a loser so many times she believes she is a loser and therefore has no way to live, but as a loser would live. Maybe if someone was willing to help her and show her, she can live differently, she would try...on the other hand, maybe it is too late...having a sister who is a psychatic nurse in one of most deprived parts of london has made me cyincal to a fact, that once someone is convinced their a loser because been called loser so many times, becomes hard to convince them that anything else in the world, but losers. -As I said, I don't know, sometimes the individual is too blame, maybe your cos had a chance at being happy and threw it away, but sometimes, the individual is not too blame and just needs empathy. Last edited by Fat1Fared; 11-17-2011 at 12:54 AM.
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#159
11-17-2011
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It's indeed a commonly-said phrase that money doesn't buy you happiness. Hardship does let you grow as a person.
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#160
11-17-2011
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And I know a lot of children who were born out of wedlock too. I was one of these said children. It's not a good personal experience. Even if one of your parents sticks around and makes it "work", it still leaves a stain in your life.
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#161
11-17-2011
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=You know for someone who amuses you, I still remember making you cry and leave this site more than once. PS Miss Grammar Nazi by putting in "your read" you make read a possessive noun, well done...your moron. This is not because you made such an obvious grammar mistake; we everyone does as English is a difficult language. It is because are trying to make fun of other peoples grammar while doing this. -Oh and it needs to be past tense too? Oops. [ Yer I know it is stupid to point out how stupid someone is, when knows she is stupid and sort of makes me equally stupid, but I never made myself out to be anything other than a stupid. PS I await my justified banning and don't even attempt to hide what I am doing. ] Last edited by Fat1Fared; 11-17-2011 at 10:59 PM.
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#162
11-17-2011
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...well, at first I thought about posting my opinion in this thread, but decided to back down because since my opinion is based upon religious beliefs plus the fact that I have never had sex, enough people wouldn't take me seriously and the discussion would be one-sided against me.
After reading the most recent posts in this thread, I don't think I have to worry about that last bit anymore. I will say this right off the bat: No, I don't think that sex before marriage is a good idea, as it can lead people to face harsh consequences for various reasons and complications. That being said, there are exceptions, and there are reasons why the exceptions become exceptions. It doesn't mean that I believe one person having sex before marriage isn't going to be a sin, but it does mean that the consequences are much less severe, and maybe they won't even be negative. But let's face it - divorce is rampant. People get married for all the wrong reasons and they end up paying the price. Saving sex for marriage isn't a risk-free approach to sexuality, because people get married before they're ready to make a commitment to one another. Again, I say this as someone who hasn't had sex yet, but sexual compatibility is important. However, it doesn't really appear to me to be the end-all of an intimate relationship. Aren't there other traits that you love about your partner and are important, such as communication, fidelity, respect, and honesty? What about his/her sense of humor, the way s/he comforts you when you feel down, your shared interests, and the support s/he gives to you when you need to make a decision? I'm not saying that bad sex should be overlooked, but if you love someone for all these other things, then your commitment to each other is worth fighting for, and if you find out that your first few times having sex weren't all that great, then you can always get better. I have heard from more than one married person that during the years that they've been married, they and their partners get better at sex. After all, practice makes perfect, right? I have more opinions about the matter, but maybe I'll share them later. EDIT: Oh, and for the love of God, stop bickering Fared and Allison. You know that you don't see eye-to-eye on anything so bothering to respond to anything that either of you say is the biggest waste of time for us to read and an even bigger waste of time for you to write. Get over yourselves and drop it.
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#163
11-17-2011
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I also don't like how you blame your parents for your own problems. Some of my parents' brothers and sisters (and one of my parents themselves) are about 50 and STILL blame their parents for their problems, even if their lives are actually very good. Get over those things or you'll be unhappy your entire life. __ As for Sally, Fared's not just speaking for himself, but Tyler and me as well. He's better at this than we are, so I request that if he wants to he be allowed to further express his opinion in response to Allison. Furthermore, Sally, I believe you will have a divorce in your lifetime if you and he aren't sexually compatible. My dad always says that the other things are 75% of the relationship, and sex is 25%. You shouldn't want a C. You should want an A. And if he wants A-cups, and you think he likes C-cups, then you might have problems. You should work on that.
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#164
11-17-2011
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Not even gonna comment about the breast thing. :V
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#165
11-17-2011
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I think he was complimenting you on that bit.
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#166
11-17-2011
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Not that it's anyone's business. And it's completely unrelated to what I was trying to say in this thread in the first place. >.>
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#167
11-17-2011
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Furthermore, what if his penis is incredibly small? No amount of technique can make up for a 2-inch penis.
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#168
11-17-2011
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But Holy's right. It's not just about technique. It's also about how far both people are willing to go to satisfy each other; whether they're into polyamorous relationships, whether or not they mind other people, fetishes, foreplay, sexual acts other than intercourse, etc. If one of the people involved has a problem with this, it's going to put some strain on the other.
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#169
11-17-2011
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But um, in case they weren't, again I would say, communication... don't keep secrets, ask every relevant question you can think of before getting hitched. But this debate gets old and useless fast when the only arguments you can come up with are extreme situations that are as unlikely as Harold Camping's rapture predictions coming true.
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#170
11-18-2011
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Actually, about half of those aren't as extreme as you think. Size, minor fetishes, foreplay, and other sex acts come up more than you would think. They may not be fatal in a relationship, but they do put strain on at least one of the people involved.
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#171
11-18-2011
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But again, communication. You can talk about these things before marriage. There's nothing wrong with that.
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#172
11-18-2011
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That's why I said at the beginning of the thread that it should be a learning experience/help you grow as a person.
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#173
11-18-2011
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#174
11-18-2011
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I'll say it again: communication. Talk about what you like and don't like. Some people, like me, don't really even know what they like yet because they haven't had sex (although they probably don't like sadomasochist, scat, or other extreme fetishes). It's a learning process. I don't expect it to be automatic and to be sexually satisfied from the get-go. lol I just saw that you said that virgins don't know what they like. But when you are compatible in so many other ways in a relationship, including physical affection that does not lead to sex, how likely is it that sexual likes and dislikes will be completely different from each others'? Last edited by MrsSallyBakura; 11-18-2011 at 12:12 AM.
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#175
11-18-2011
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#176
11-18-2011
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#177
11-18-2011
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#178
11-18-2011
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#179
11-18-2011
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But yeah, he's right.
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#180
11-18-2011
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ok, ignoring holy's s and m, he actually brings up a point which sadly sally you cannot rebut with simple line of communication...talking as one of the probably more experienced people here, I can tell you it is very easy to find a sexually imcompatiable partner and this is not just some fetish thing or the other side, not being very good, it can go to the core of a persons psychie.
To people may simply be imcompatiable on so many physically possible levels that it is impossible to list them. Tyler is right, one should not over generalise this area as is very easy to sexually compatible partners and most problems are down to lack of experience/skill, which can be overcome with more sex and varying ones sex life. However that doesn't override that this is a real and serious problem for some people, which exists whether one believes in the marriage thing or not. I like to have what would be considered more errr...tender and soft sex; I once dated a girl, whom liked it a lot more aggressive, niether of us found the sex that pleasure as both trying to pull in the opposite direction and so that was that. The problem is, sex is not a really conscious act and so often these compatibility problems are something just unlearn and no amount of communication can change what two people like, if they like different things to that level. -Holy making bringing up an extreme example with S and M, but the point behind that, is a valid one...if you simply like different ways of having sex, sex won't be good for 1 or possibly both partners and this is a problem. PS on another point...devoice is not some byproduct of the modern and people not thinking things through, it has actually been proven we get married much later in life now and after far longer relationships. Devoice didn't occur before, not because didn't want it too, but because we couldn't. Now devoice is possible, we take it as would have done previously, if we could. Last edited by Fat1Fared; 11-18-2011 at 12:43 PM.
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