BARf!

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

Overwhelmed by wedding plans.
Wedding is growing into something bigger than I can handle.
When I say something about it, I get ignored,
When Harry repeats what I say, despite not having heard it, he gets heard.

Also, I'm having some emotions regarding my mother.
It seems I've been forgotten by her, and I've been making so many excuses to justify it as her usual behavior, that I didn't even realize I had been forgotten.

[TheOcean]

Originally Posted by gcar90

Overwhelmed by wedding plans.
Wedding is growing into something bigger than I can handle.
When I say something about it, I get ignored,
When Harry repeats what I say, despite not having heard it, he gets heard.

Also, I'm having some emotions regarding my mother.
It seems I've been forgotten by her, and I've been making so many excuses to justify it as her usual behavior, that I didn't even realize I had been forgotten.

Hmm well, its unfortunate that you can't really do anything about your mom. Still, you can't make someone act anyway than they normally would. My recommendation is to opnely let her know that you're going to start forgetting her back, as you have given her a large olive branch in the form of even asking her to your wedding.

As for the lack of voice, harry is large...and hairy. That makes him intimidating, and this sort of thing is normal towards the end of wedding planning. This is why so many women end up bridezilla stressed out wrecks. Its also, in my opinion, the reason honeymoons are important.



You be fine gina, just keep chugging. :3 your wedding is going to be wonderful.

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

Originally Posted by TheOcean

Hmm well, its unfortunate that you can't really do anything about your mom. Still, you can't make someone act anyway than they normally would. My recommendation is to opnely let her know that you're going to start forgetting her back, as you have given her a large olive branch in the form of even asking her to your wedding.

As for the lack of voice, harry is large...and hairy. That makes him intimidating, and this sort of thing is normal towards the end of wedding planning. This is why so many women end up bridezilla stressed out wrecks. Its also, in my opinion, the reason honeymoons are important.



You be fine gcar, just keep chugging. :3 your wedding is going to be wonderful.

Part of me can't help but blame myself for my mother. I let her go, first. The biggest part of me wants to fix this, but I know there's nothing that can be fixed. At least there's someone else who's seeing my mother's behavior, now, and is realizing everything I've been dealing with and trying cope with since I was a teenager. That's the aunt she's currently living with, now. Still, I don't know how to get over this hump.

Harry doesn't intimidate me. I'm glad he's speaking for me, and is aware of what I want. Because it's what we both want. I... hate waste, and we've wasted so much already to do with this wedding. I don't want to waste more, I can't stand it.

[TheOcean]

Oh no, I meant Harry probably intimidates strangers. He only "intimidates" you if the definition has turned into something sexy and no one told me.

...sorry its been like an hour since I made a sex joke. I think I almost died from it.



Also its good to have someone that understands. Some things just can't be fixed :(

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

by my first instinct is to fix what's broken.

I can't get a new mother.

As a child, if something broke, I'd try to fix it, rather than waste money on the same thing that would just break anyway.

I feel miserable and a big idiot.
mom... won't be around forever, and I don't want my relationship with her to be completely ruined, before she's gone for good.

[TheOcean]

Yeah but the real question is if she deserves your efforts on fixing the relationship or if that's going to waste more of your life.

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

would I be horrible and ungrateful if I gave up?

[animex75]

now ocean, you should know better than to utter gcar's name :V

[TheOcean]

Originally Posted by gcar90

would I be horrible and ungrateful if I gave up?

I don't think so, but thanks to my grandmother I learned at a very young age that some people aren't worth keeping in your life. That said I also deal with guilt and regrets better than most people. I don't regret my grandmother's death, she was a terrible and broken individual before I was ever born. If anything her death freed a lot of people. So maybe I just have a fucked up viewpoint.

Originally Posted by animex75

now ocean, you should know better than to utter gcar's name :V

Some oceans just want to watche the world burn, animex.

[DarkPhoenix]

Originally Posted by gcar90

would I be horrible and ungrateful if I gave up?

Considering my own experiences with my mother, I am inclined to say no.

You get to pick your friends but you can't chose who your family is, with the sole exception of your spouse, so if you end up having a really shitty family member, you may be better off severing ties to them for the sake of your own sanity.

In fact that saying 'blood is thicker than water' means "The blood shed by comrades is thicker than the water of the womb"

Of course you should try to make your relationship with your family work but I wouldn't waste too much energy on it.

Though I do have kinda of an odd view of things and I think I react to things differently than most people.

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

But....
Do I have a right? Isn't it wrong to write people off like characters in a story?
Mom was there some of the time, but in recent years, she's gotten worse.
Is that all her fault or is there something I could have done to prevent it?
I... want to fix this, but I can't fix this.
I... wish I had never been born.
I don't know anymore.

I...

[TheOcean]

Now now gcar your birth is necessary. This site would not be the same without you. Don't let your mom kick off a downswing, if she isn't worth your tears. I honestly think if you think she's worth it you should try, just from personal experience it rarely is.

Also stupid customers making me disappear. ..

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

The site and Harry would exist just the same without me.
Everything in this life would be just the same, I just wouldn't be in it.
I'm only a tiny insignificant thing.
I'm not worth the amount of pain I am feeling.
I know I'd be wasting my time to try make my mother come around.
My mother's stubborn, if she doesn't want to do something she won't, and if I force her, she'll turn mean. I know that from experience. Just... I... need that extra bit of stubborn support that only mom can give to kick me in the tail and get me moving.
I feel like I'm drowning, and I can't be saved.

[[^_^]]

Wouldn't eloping solve all issues?

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

Vegas is always an option.

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

of course, eloping won't solve the issues I have with my mother.
Those will remain for the rest of my life.

[TheOcean]

Well I am going to stop giving advice to you for the moment cause as another bipolar person I know when a downswing is in full effect and nothing I'm saying will change anything till the brain chemestry balances out a bit. Feel better hun.

[Ebilkittyprincess28]

-pulls Gcar and Ocean into a girl group hug-

[TheOcean]

Woot girl hugs. I swear I'm not enjoying this more than I should.

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

I'm trying.
It doesn't help that when I think the downswing is ending, some other trigger pushes it that much further.

*puts head in paws*

I wish I was a kitty.

[TheOcean]

Understood. *goes looking for an evil witch to curse you*

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

on top of it all, I was bringing Harry down, when I was getting overwhelmed by it all.
That's not good.
Not good at all.

[Ebilkittyprincess28]

Originally Posted by TheOcean

Understood. *goes looking for an evil witch to curse you*

-lights the Black Flame Candle-

[TheOcean]

Sorry ebil I'm going to have to use tv tropes/utena logic on you. You're either a princess or a witch, you can't be both.

[animex75]

not even if she's the princess of the witch kingdom?

[DarkPhoenix]

Originally Posted by gcar90

The site and Harry would exist just the same without me.
Everything in this life would be just the same, I just wouldn't be in it.
I'm only a tiny insignificant thing.
I'm not worth the amount of pain I am feeling.
I know I'd be wasting my time to try make my mother come around.
My mother's stubborn, if she doesn't want to do something she won't, and if I force her, she'll turn mean. I know that from experience. Just... I... need that extra bit of stubborn support that only mom can give to kick me in the tail and get me moving.
I feel like I'm drowning, and I can't be saved.

Nonsense, even tiny insignificant things can create massive change.

The site would exist without you, Harry would exist without you, but they would not be the same, could not be the same because everything that happens, everyone you meet has an effect on the way a person develops or even they way a place develops.

If I recall correctly, you're the reason I stayed on the site when "She-who-must-not-be-named" was making me seriously consider leaving the site.

[TheOcean]

Originally Posted by animex75

not even if she's the princess of the witch kingdom?

Not even then. She's clearly a princess in that world, as it is a title and not an occupation. Even if shetook the occupation of witch, she couldn't stop being a princess without losing the title. Clearly one has precedence over the other.

[LazySlacker]

Originally Posted by TheOcean

Sorry ebil I'm going to have to use tv tropes/utena logic on you. You're either a princess or a witch, you can't be both.

It's seems like the Harvest Moon series wants to prove you wrong.

[GcarOatmealRaisinCookies]

Originally Posted by DarkPhoenix

Nonsense, even tiny insignificant things can create massive change.

The site would exist without you, Harry would exist without you, but they would not be the same, could not be the same because everything that happens, everyone you meet has an effect on the way a person develops or even they way a place develops.

If I recall correctly, you're the reason I stayed on the site when "She-who-must-not-be-named" was making me seriously consider leaving the site.

I wasn't around for Yamichan.
but still...
I...
I'm not worth that much.
I'm not that great a person.

[TheOcean]

Originally Posted by LazySlacker

It's seems like the Harvest Moon series wants to prove you wrong.

Some lazies just want to watch the oceans burn.